Thursday, April 9, 2015

Characters You've Never Heard Of: HANK (THE TANK!)

Leading the pack and barely waiting for the others to catch up was Hank, who called himself "The Tank." A giant of man - over three hundred pounds - he was not quick or smart but he was tough and absolutely ruthless. Many survivors had died due to Hank's actions - and inaction - but somehow he had survived it all when better men and women had fallen. The kid Noah had survived by sticking close to him. The blood-caked Heckler & Koch submachine gun slung over his shoulder was a perfect symbol of his brutal determination. He had charged the original owner and wrestled it away from him, killing two bystanders in the process when the weapon went off. After running out of ammo, Hank continued to use the gun as club, beating zombies to death when he had to and running when he could, often leaving his fellow survivors behind to fend for themselves.

The broken table leg in his hand, studded with rusty nails, was also a pretty good symbol for how he got the job done.

This is the first of a few characters on the list that I didn't create, but since I did write a story about Hank the Tank, I don't mind stealing him for our purposes here.

Hank is one of the survivors in my recent zombie apocalypse game. In fact he's one of the few survivors. The mortality rate is insanely high (something like 75%) and it's not unusual for a player to lose 2 or 3 characters a night. That's half the fun. Like a cheesy horror movie, the best part is watching characters do stupid things and get killed in ridiculous ways.

Very often, it's not the people who you think should survive who are left standing at the end of the night, though. The smartest and toughest people are often relied upon more to do more dangerous stuff, so they don't survive very long. Then again, the weakest don't do well either (the guy who played a character in a wheelchair tried valiantly, but he was zombie food from the get go).

Hank the Tank survived and continues to survive through sheer assholery. He's overweight, slow and has no special skills, but he will do whatever it takes - and I mean whatever it takes - to survive. He used the wheelchair guy as bait so he could get away. He pushed people down stairs to slow approaching zombies. He straight up shot a guy and stole his gun. And of course, the story linked to above was his crowning achievement.

Hank is a brilliant character and I really want to keep playing this game just to see if he gets his comeuppance. I don't know who's more of the dick - the character or the guy who plays him.

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