...It'll work itself out fine (#IWSG June 2021)

Hey, look! It's my first time this year posting two months in a row for IWSG! (Please don't drop me from the list, Alex, I'm at #59 and I don't want to start over!)

June Question

For how long do you shelve your first draft, before reading it and re-drafting? Is this dependent on your writing experience and the number of stories/books under your belt?

I know I should wait between first draft and revision. I used to wait longer (on my first published book, Ten Thousand Days, I waited 8 years). I usually advise waiting at least a month after finishing your first draft, to give the story time to percolate, and to come back to it with fresh eyes. Unfortunately, the more I write, the less time I seem to give myself. On my second book, I waited two or three months. On Psycho Hose Beast, I waited about a month, which I feel is ideal. On my current WIP? I finished the first draft on a Tuesday and I started revising on Wednesday.

I'm putting unnecessary pressure on myself. I had a release date in my mind that I wanted to hit, which meant that I had several deadlines to meet that. Deadlines to get it to an editor, to get the cover artwork, to set the pre-order on Amazon, to arrange reviews and marketing. Again, I haven't announced this release date, and the only person expecting anything is myself. But it seems that as I write and publish, I want to write and publish more, so I'm shortening my timelines and making everything more difficult. 

Why did I think this is a good idea? The rest of my life certainly isn't getting any easier, or giving me more time. I just want to get Gale Harbour book 2 out, so then I can start working on book 3, and then I can start something new...

This is the kind of stuff I tell my kids not to do. My son especially. I'm constantly telling him to slow down and take his time, to work carefully, and enjoy each step in a process. Or at least to make sure it's done properly, to save yourself headaches down the line. Is there a fable about following your own advice? I think I need that one...

Anyway, onto some good news...

The latest volume of Strangely Funny is now available! It includes my short story, "Exorcist to the Stars." This is my fifth time appearing in Strangely Funny and my fourth published story this year:

Other crazy people who have printed my stuff.

You can pick up Strangely Funny VIII on Amazon.

It's been a heck of a year for me writing-wise, and I would love to cap it off by releasing a new novel, but will it happen? Should I care? More importantly, should I lose sleep and neglect other parts of my life to make it happen? 

I think I know the answer, I just have trouble convincing myself it's the right one.

Hugs & Kisses,

-CDGK

The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Writers post their thoughts on their blogs, talking about their doubts and the fears they have conquered. It's a chance for writers to commiserate and offer a word of encouragement to each other. Check out the group at http://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/.

I've Got a Lot Going On (#IWSG March 2021)

 Wait, what day is it? I missed February's IWSG? It's been a hell of a week month year.

Y'all know what I'm talking about.

March Question

Everyone has a favourite genre or genres to write. But what about your reading preferences? Do you read widely or only within the genre(s) you create stories for? What motivates your reading choice?

I read quite a variety of different stuff. I tend more toward fiction than non-, but I like a good biography or history book from time to time (currently reading - Under the Black Flag: The Romance and the Reality of Life Among the Pirates, by David Cordingly). In fiction, I'm also all over the place - fantasy, sci-fi, mystery, westerns, "literary" (which I treat more disdainfully than "literary" types treat genre fiction), comic books, I'll try anything. Much like my writing, I especially gravitate to humour and satire, in any genre or category. There is enough blackness and misery in the world - if you're going to escape into another world, might as well make it fun. Especially if you can skewer or satirize the real world in the process.

Speaking of writing and comedy...

Smooth transition, right?

I am pleased to announce that I have had another story accepted into the Strangely Funny anthology series, from Mystery & Horror, LLC! The picture above is from last year's volume, but volume VIII will be published this Spring, and will include my brand new story, "Exorcist to the Stars!" This is my FIFTH time appearing in Strangely Funny, so I really feel like I've found an outlet for my brand of humour and horror there.

Also, I just approved the edits for my story in the upcoming issue of The Weird and Whatnot. My story was accepted there about a year ago, so it's been a long time coming. The new issue should be out within the next couple of weeks.

Pictured: Last issue.  Who doesn't love Death playing a pipe organ?

For those of you keeping score at home, these publications are in addition to the previously released Mardi Gras Mysteries (also from Mystery & Horror) and the upcoming IWSG Anthology: Dark Matter: Artificial, from our friends at Dancing Lemur Press.

Look, ma, I'm a writer!

That's FOUR new stories published in just the first half of this year. And not to jinx it, but I'm still really hoping that I will have Gale Harbour Book 2 out before the end of the year as well. Either way, it's going to be a big year for me, writing-wise. 

So why would I be insecure? Because I'm really frigging stressed out, that's why. Life is crazy enough right now without trying to write and publish. I should be keeping a low profile, taking it easy, focussing on my family and my real job. But when I get on a roll it's hard to stop, you know? I've wanted to be a writer since I was five. The fact that I'm actually doing it, and having fun and a small modicum of success with it, is hard to step away from. The only thing saving me is that I don't have any real deadlines or pressure except for what I put on myself. I don't have a contract saying that I have to have a manuscript in by July 1st. My children won't starve if my next book doesn't sell 5000 copies. This is supposed to be a hobby, so the only stress involved is what I put into it. 

That doesn't mean it's not real stress, of course. It's just that lovely self-imposed kind that we all seem to be so good at creating for ourselves.

So how's your month going?

Hugs & Kisses,

-CDGK

The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Writers post their thoughts on their blogs, talking about their doubts and the fears they have conquered. It's a chance for writers to commiserate and offer a word of encouragement to each other. Check out the group at http://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/.

STRANGELY FUNNY VII COVER REVEAL!

The latest collection of hilarious horror stories from Mystery & Horror is coming in just a few short weeks! And, for the fourth time in four years, the Strangely Funny collection will feature a brand new spine-tingling and funny-bone-tickling tale by yours truly!

I'll have more details to share as we get closer to the release, but in the meantime, please allow me to reveal the wacky cover for the new edition:

Like I said, I don't have a ton of details I can share right now, but please check out previous editions of on the Mystery & Horror website.

WIN A FREE COPY OF MY BOOK

I've already given away two copies of my debut novel, Ten Thousand Days, but I've got one more that's itching to get on your shelf. If you want a chance to get a paperback copy of Ten Thousand Days (the revised 2017 version!) all you have to do is sign up for my mailing list, below.

Subscribe to Mailing List

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Email Address * 

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I will choose a lucky winner on May 31, so your time to sign-up is running out. Plus, by joining the list you'll be among the first to know when my fun new books and projects will be coming out. You know you want to be one of the cool kids. Sign up now!

Hugs & Kisses,

-CDGK

A long post to start the year (#IWSG January 2020)

I'm starting January off feeling positive. This is going to be a good writing year for me. I mean, it will probably all come crashing down soon and my February IWSG post will be me threatening to give up writing altogether again, but I'm allowed a moment of optimism at least once a year, right?

FIRST BIG NEWS

You remember the Self-Published Fantasy Blog-Off, right? It's the annual contest organized by best-selling and award winning novelist Mark Lawrence, designed to showcase the best up-and-coming independent writers of fantasy fiction by giving them a large platform. With that in mind, enterprising author Jon Auerbach has collected samples from OVER 70 current and past SPFBO participants and made it available FREE for anyone to download. Both of my entries, TEN THOUSAND DAYS and HELL COMES TO HOGTOWN, are included in there. PLEASE head over and check out this smorgasbord of free sample goodies. Who knows? You may just discover your new favourite book or author.

Cover by Luke Tarzian

Download the Free Sampler

Check out the announcement post at Fantasy Book Critic

SECOND BIG NEWS

For the fourth (yes, FOURTH) year in a row, I will have a story appearing in Mystery & Horror's STRANGELY FUNNY comic horror anthology series! They must really like me over there. It's awesome to have found a place that fits my weird brand of kooky, creepy humour so well.

Last Year's Edition

STRANGELY FUNNY VII will be released in the spring, and you can be sure as I will have all the deatils (and the new cover!) as soon as they're available.

THIRD BIG NEWS

This is probably my favourite. I kept it on the down-low all year, but if you read last week's year-end-report you already know about it: I wrote not one but TWO new books in 2019. I know, I'm just as shocked as you are.

Look at it. LOOK AT IT!

At least one of those books should see the light of day before the end of 2020, which makes me super-excited. It's been so long since I've released a full-length novel. Not only that, but a couple of my other half-finished projects are slowly starting to come back together again, as well.

Like I said. Cautiously optimistic.

JANUARY IWSG QUESTION

What started you on your writing journey? Was it a particular book, movie, story, or series? Was it a teacher/coach/spouse/friend/parent? Did you just "know" suddenly you wanted to write?

This is a very complicated answer. I had already written this when I got all my big news to share, so bear with me.

In my bio, I usually say that I wrote my first story when I was 5 years old, and I had to ask my baby-sitter to look how the spelling of "extra-terrestrial" in the dictionary. This is true - and in fact, I may have been even younger.

I also often credit the Star Wars films and the Americanized version of the Japanese Anime ROBOTECH/Macross as teaching me how to tell stories, which is also true. You may not see it in my published works, but I have scores of unpublished material that follows the same serialized structure of Star Wars and sci-fi cartoon series. The Teddy Ruxpin cartoon was also a big influence, believe it or not.

Cinematic brilliance.

I've sometimes joked that the reason I started self-publishing is because I read lots of terrible self-published work and I thought, "I can do better than that," and now I'm the guy who inspires other people to say "I can do better than that." This is also, sadly, true.

But while contemplating this question, I have come to the realization that one of my biggest and earliest influences is Robin Hood. My earliest recollection of watching a movie was VHS copies of Robin Hood, which in my later years I've come to believe were the Robin of Sherwood series from British TV.

This image is seared into my brain from childhood. I think I had nightmares about that guy.

I loved those shows as a kid, with all the sword fights and magic and mysticism. I also loved the stories (though the Robin Hood stories don't usually have the same kind of supernatural elements as the Robin of Sherwood series did). Several of my first LEGO sets were also Robin Hood-themed:

I HAD THIS SET! It blows my mind whenever I find images on the internet that I remember so vividly from childhood. There's a secret door on tower on the left-hand side, which I adored.

Needless to say, I was psyched when the Kevin Costner movie came out in 1991. I haven't watched it in almost 30 years so I don't know if it has held up, but I will continue to remember it fondly until that illusion is shattered.

A couple of years ago I was going through my old stuff at my parent's house and I found one of my very first stories, from when I was in grade 1 or 2. It was in French, fully illustrated in colour, and bound like a small book with cardboard covers. And what was it about? An elf named "Bras D'or" (Golden-Arm), an expert archer who looked like Robin Hood, tricking and defeating a giant blue ogre.

It hasn't happened yet, but I'm sure I'm going to eventually write a gritty reboot of Robin Hood in some form of another.

How about you? How is your new year starting off?

Hugs & Kisses,
-CDGK

The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Writers post their thoughts on their blogs, talking about their doubts and the fears they have conquered. It's a chance for writers to commiserate and offer a word of encouragement to each other. Check out the group at http://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/.

Gotta Catch'em All... except you don't have to, not really (#IWSG June 2019)

I'll keep today's post short.

Last month I kinda went on a rant. Life was stressful and I was a bit freaked out. I threatened to quit writing altogether, which I know is not ever going to actually happen, unless I'm somehow struck blind and deaf and lose both my hands in some sort of freak accident. But it's hard sometimes.

So the last month I have been writing, quietly, not making a big deal about it. I finally put aside the manuscript that I've been struggling with for almost 9 months and started writing something new and fun, and I've written something like 20,000 words in the last month. No pressure, no real plan, just playing around. After putting it aside, I also FINALLY thought about how to fix the previous story, so maybe I'll go back to that one eventually, too.

My wife is doing much better. Life has settled into a bit of smoother routine. The weather's nicer so I'm getting out to jog more often. All in all, things are looking up, and I'm (cautiously) optimistic. Until the next crisis brings it all crashing back down, anyway.

Also, I've been playing a lot of Pokemon GO. Like A LOT of Pokemon GO.

Maybe it's these cute little guys that's been making me feel better.

JUNE QUESTION:

Of all the genres you read and write, which is your favorite to write in and why?

I'm sure we've answer this one before, but without a doubt my favourite genre to both read and write is humour. There's enough drama and darkness in the real world, so I really seek out entertainment that makes me chuckle.

The best part of humour is that it's a very broad "genre." You can add humour to just about anything - fantasy, mystery, romance, self-help, college applications, grocery lists, police statements, religious texts, prehistoric cave drawings - and it only makes it better. Anything worth doing is worth not taking seriously, so let yourself enjoy life and have a laugh (or two).

STRANGELY FUNNY VI IS OUT IN PAPERBACK

Buy it here.

Speaking of mixing genres and having a good laugh, make sure you check out Strangely Funny VI, now available in paperback (as well as for Kindle). It features my story, "Eyewear of the Damned." It will be horrify and amuse you.

What Am I Doing? (#IWSG May 2019)

In a moment I'm going to get into a bunch of great writing-related stuff that's going on, and I think it's important to share that and be proud of my successes. First, though, I just wanted to share some insecurities and some doubts I've had lately due to alot of outside forces. Any writing successes have been very much despite everything else going on in my life, certainly not because of it.

About two weeks ago, my wife went in for surgery. It was a fairly minor procedure, and not the one that we had been waiting for since last year. The surgery went well, and she came home the same day, but after a few days we noticed that she did not seem to be recovering as quickly as she should have been. In fact, it soon became apparent that she was actually getting worse, not better.

We ended up in the emergency room on Friday, and after nine hours and a couple of ultrasounds that found nothing, they sent us home with some more pain meds and instructions to wait a little longer for her to heal. Then on Sunday night/Monday morning, the pain became excruciating and she began showing signs of liver failure (turning yellow, the whole nine yards), so we rushed back to the emergency room at 3:00am.

After another twelve hours in the ER, they did another emergency surgery on Monday afternoon and finally fixed the issue. It's two days later now and she's finally on the mend, and should be coming home today.

So the good news is that everything seems to have worked out, but the bad news it's been an incredibly stressful couple of weeks (and especially the last few days). And this was just one event in my wife's ongoing health and chronic pain issues. On top of that, both of my kids have recently been seeing a lot of doctors for various health issues, not to mention all the other everyday regular stresses like the water heater dying last week, the cat getting sick and needing to go to the vet, the car making weird noises and threatening to break down any minute, etc, etc, etc. And did I also mention that my boss asked me on Friday (before we had to rush to the ER) if I was interested in a promotion? It's the same job I did temporarily last year, which is more money but also A LOT more work.

So with all that in mind, I have to ask: When the fuck am I supposed to have time to write?

I want to, I really do. In addition to several releases I've got a number of other stories and a manuscript out on submission, plus a couple of other stories about ready to go out. I've got two novels I'm finally making progress on and feeling excited about, plus a dozen other things I'm itching to start working on.

And yet I'm considering just giving it all up.

It's too stressful. I've got so much already going on with my life, that adding writing and all of its related tasks is just too much. I'm excited and I want to work on my projects, but I'm constantly disappointed when I don't get to them. And worrying about them while dealing with all the other worries in life just compounds the stress.

I don't know. Writing is very important to me, and I feel like I need some kind of creative outlet in my life, but I don't know if I can cut back. If I write something, I'm going to want to put it out, so I'm going to need to do the submissions or the self-publishing and the social media and everything that relates to it. And then I'm going to think of other projects I want to work on. Part of me thinks the only way to do it would be quit writing cold turkey, and just step away from it for now. But that's just scary to even consider, so I don't know what to do.

Anyway. That's enough complaining for today. On to the good stuff.

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Most of you should be familiar with the release of the latest Dancing Lemur Press / IWSG anthology, MASQUERADE: ODDLY SUITED. You're going to see it talked about plenty I'm sure as you visit sites on the IWSG blog hop today. Welp, in case you didn't know, Masquerade features a short story by little old me, and you can buy it RIGHT HERE.

That's right, buy it RIGHT HERE.

I just wanted to thank all my fellow contributors to this anthology, some of whom have been absolutely working their butts off promoting and organizing this book launch (you know who you are). I was not always able to give as much attention to the build up as I would have liked due to outside factors going on in my life, so it was great to have so many talented, dedicated people taking good care of our shared project.

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While you may be familiar with Masquerade, you may have missed the OTHER anthology that just came out from Mystery & Horror, LLC, which also features a story by yours truly: STRANGELY FUNNY VI!

Buy this guy RIGHT HERE

This is the third year in a row my work has been featured in Strangely Funny. It's a series of comic horror and supernatural tales, and the stories are both creepy and hilarious. It's exactly my cup of tea. Here's the blurb: 

"My name’s not Clarence, and this ain’t Bedford Falls. I’m more like a pixie on probation and you’re my punishment.” – Dial M for Marvin by Robert Allen Lupton

Welcome to the seventh book (yes, seventh) in the Strangely Funny series. Tales of paranormal comedy await you. Meet one vampire who has found a unique method of sheltering from the sunlight, and another one seeking a tan. See what they’re serving at the Devil’s table below. Discover a new definition for ‘dream lover’. And if you can’t figure out what a ‘Skunknado’ is, we’ll show you. 

STRANGELY FUNNY is currently available for Amazon Kindle, but the paperback will be out any day now. Pick your copy right here. 

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Finally, to help celebrate all the new book goodies, I'm also giving away one of my old stories FREE on Amazon Kindle as well. WEREBEAR VS. LANDOPUS book 1: TENTACLES UNDER A FULL MOON is free on Amazon until Saturday, May 4th, so go check it out right now! It's a creepy, funny, disturbing little story, and if you like there are two more available in the series with more (hopefully) to come.

GET IT FREE

This is a serious story. 

A serious, grimly dark short story of hilarious misery.

SUGGESTED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES: Contains coarse language, violence and candid descriptions of the genitalia of various fantasy races.

In a peaceful land of lush prosperity, an ancient eight-tentacled evil has risen to wreck unfathomable havoc. A simple, unassuming warrior named Huckle gathers together the bravest and most dysfunctional band of heroes in the kingdom to battle the beast, but they are fated only for the direst of suffering and failure.

The only way to defeat a monster of this magnitude is with an even more horrifying monster... 

Huckle goes to hell and back and back again in this tragic tale of terrestrial cephalopods, ursine lycanthropes and explosive volcano drake diarrhea.

Dark fantasy will never be the same.

With a forward by R.S. Matheny and Philip Overby, hosts of the Grim Tidings Podcast

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That was a long post today, so I'm going to call it right here. For anyone who made it all the way to the end, thank you for sticking around. I'll do my best to reply to comments and visit other sites in the blog hope, but please forgive me if I'm a bit behind.

Hope everyone has a great Wednesday!

Hugs and kisses,
-CDGK

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The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Writers post their thoughts on their blogs, talking about their doubts and the fears they have conquered. It's a chance for writers to commiserate and offer a word of encouragement to each other. Check out the group at http://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/.

STRANGELY FUNNY VI Release!

Hey look, a new book!

While everyone had their eyes set on Masquerade: Oddly Suited, the OTHER anthology featuring my work this month, STRANGELY FUNNY VI, crept up and jumped us out of nowhere, just like a good boogeyman is supposed to do.

Strangely Funny VI features twenty (20!) new tales paranormal comedy. I haven't read everything in the new batch yet, but with stories with titles like "How a Vampire Gets a Tan" by Paul Wartenberg and "Skunknado" by B. David Spicer, I don't think you can go wrong with this one.

The Kindle version is available now, with paperback coming soon! It's only 4 bucks! Check it out!

THE BLURB

"My name’s not Clarence, and this ain’t Bedford Falls. I’m more like a pixie on probation and you’re my punishment.” – Dial M for Marvin by Robert Allen Lupton

Welcome to the seventh book (yes, seventh) in the Strangely Funny series. Tales of paranormal comedy await you. Meet one vampire who has found a unique method of sheltering from the sunlight, and another one seeking a tan. See what they’re serving at the Devil’s table below. Discover a new definition for ‘dream lover’. And if you can’t figure out what a ‘Skunknado’ is, we’ll show you. 

BOOK DETAILS

Print Length: 220 pages

Publisher: Mystery and Horror, LLC (April 21, 2019)

Publication Date: April 21, 2019

ASIN: B07QZQCRQY

Kindle Price: $3.99 USD

BUY LINKS

AMAZON US: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07QZQCRQY

AMAZON CANADA: https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B07QZQCRQY

AMAZON UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B07QZQCRQY

Also be sure to check out the publisher, MYSTERY & HORROR, LLC:

Website: http://www.mysteryandhorrorllc.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/mahllc

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MysteryAndHorrorLlc/

But seas between us braid hae roar'd (#IWSG January 2019)

First a quick recap of December: Hell Comes to Hogtown was not chosen as a finalist for SPFBO 2018. That's cool, I was happy it did as well as it did, and I still feel vindicated over my performance from the year before. In fact, no one from my group was chosen as a finalist, because a judge from another group had two books they wanted to forward, handed one of them off to my judges, and they chose that second book as their finalist instead of any that were originally in their own group.

It's nice that this contest is open and transparent, but it's also weird seeing the behind the scenes workings that you don't usually have to think about.

The unfortunate part of not continuing in the contest is that my sales have completely dried up. After being chosen as a semi-finalist, my sales were better than they had ever been, and I was raking in regular positive reviews, too. Now that's all gone, and I suspect my sales will go back to their regular pattern of 1-2 books every 3 months. Without any new books scheduled in the immediate future I don't see a big change coming, so yeah, there are certainly some insecurities there.

I also won a small writing contest in December! A Facebook group I'm in, the "Grimdark Readers and Writers" group, held a contest were members submitted a story and they were blindly judged by other members of the group. Mine stood out because of course being me, I can't take anything seriously. Despite the theme and genre being "grimdark" my story was a 3000-word-long elaborate dick joke (no, seriously). Still, people really seemed to enjoy it, but it was nerve-wracking watching each round of the one-on-one, single elimination voting and counting the votes to see which story everyone preferred.

Silly me: I thought because people liked the story they might go try out some of my other works, especially the Werebear vs Landopus stories which are exactly the same style as my winning story (and are free on Kindle Unlimited). Of course, my win resulted in exactly one (1) new sale, so my hopeful expectations may have been slightly misplaced. Plus, one of the perks of winning the contest was to be interviewed on the Grim Tidings Podcast, one of my favourite podcasts about writing and publishing. Then a week after I won, they announced the Grim Tidings Podcast would not be continuing in 2019. Sigh.

Personal Non-Writing News

My wife's surgery was postponed again. Two days before the procedure was scheduled she ended up in the ER with a gallbladder attack. So now we're waiting to see the doctor to get that out before she can get the spinal cord stimulator trial. So yeah, December was a hectic, crazy month.

And Now the Good News:

You may have seen the news already, but here it is again: For the second year in a row, I will be featured in the annual IWSG Anthology! Yes, it's true, me, the guy whose work has been kicked out of writing competitions and had scathing reviews for being too obscene and inappropriate, will have a story included in a...

...anthology of Young Adult Romance?

Yeah, I don't know how it happened, either. Well, except that I wrote a story and submitted it and they chose it. But besides that, I have no idea, dude.

I know, Pierre, this is how I feel most days.

Here's a full list of the winning stories:

Oddly Suited by LG Keltner
Sea of Sorrows by AV Brown
Behind the Catcher’s Mask by Jennifer Lane
A Diver’s Ball by Angela Brown
Fearless Heart by Deborah Solice
The Dark Charade by CD Gallant-King
The Cog Prince by Elizabeth Mueller
Flower of Ronda by Myles Christensen
Remedy by Chelsea Ballard
Charleston Masquerade by Carrie-Anne Brownian 

A Huge Thank You to the IWSG Admin team, the judges and the crazy folks at Dancing Lemur Press for picking one of my oddball stories again. You guys have weird tastes, I'll give you that. Further details about MASQUERADE: ODDLY SUITED are of course still to come, but for up-to-the-minute info, be sure to check out the IWSG website.

Bonus Good News:

I mentioned this last week but being the middle of the holidays most of you probably didn't notice it: this year I will also once again be featured in the STRANGELY FUNNY VI anthology of comic supernatural stories published by Mystery and Horror! That's THREE years in a row for me with Strangely Funny, which I'm super proud of because I love their odd and quirky stories and my work fits perfectly in their collection.

Both Strangely Funny VI and Masquerade: Oddly Suited are scheduled to be released in April 2019. Keep an eye out for both of them!

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That's it for now. Thank you for sticking with me and reading through my up-and-down 2018. It had its rough spots, probably not as bad as 2017, but it was rocky none-the-less. Here's to 2019 continuing on this slight upswing and hopefully having a smoother road.

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season and your 2019 pans out to be all you want it to be. 

We twa hae run about the braes, 

and pou'd the gowans fine; 

But we've wander'd mony a weary fit, 

sin' auld lang syne.

The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Writers post their thoughts on their blogs, talking about their doubts and the fears they have conquered. It's a chance for writers to commiserate and offer a word of encouragement to each other. Check out the group at http://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/.

2018 Year in Review (5-Year Plan Revisited)

Two years ago for the IWSG December post, I talked about my 5-year plan as a writer. Last year I touched base as to my current progress on those goals, and today I'll look at them again. Remember, these are 5-year goals, so even if I haven't met them yet, I still have 3 more years to go. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

Who knows what the new year will bring?

FIVE YEAR GOALS (2 years in)

Write 3-5 books.
-Nothing to add for this one, unfortunately. I tinkered on a few books, but didn't come close to finishing anything. Total: 2 revised/rewritten books, but 0 new books.

Submit at least 3 books to agents/publishers.
-Ditto. At least I didn't submit any NEW books. I did submit the one I wrote last year a few times, but my total still stands at 1.

Self-publish 2-3 (full length) books.
-Nope. Total: 0.

Self-publish at least 1 Werebear vs Landopus story per year.
-This was not in the original 5-year plan, but I added it last year, and I succeeded with it again this year. The WvL stories are each well over 10K words long, so they're significant enough blocks of work, but nowhere near a full-length novel. Total: 2 for 2!

Write at least 2 short stories per year and submit them to anthologies/magazines.
-Here's one category where I actually met and surpassed my goals. Two of the stories I submitted last year were published (in Tick Tock: A Stitch in Crime and Strangely Funny V). I also wrote 5 new stories this year, submitted two of them for publication (one of which was accepted - see below), and had a third enter (and win!) a small online writing competition (I'll have details on that one later). There's also another story I wrote last year that I'm still trying to find a home for.

Collect at least 100 rejections.
-I received only 5 rejections I believe this year, as compared to about 15 last year. That's just due to quantity; my submission rate has slowed along with my writing, and while I submitted a greater number of different stories this year, I had the same story rejected like 13 times last year. So my lifetime total stands at somewhere around 40 rejections, not including non-responses. I'm going to have to pick up the pace a little bit to make sure I hit that 100 rejections mark in the next 3 years.

Some News To Celebrate:

For the third year in a row, one of my stories will be appearing in Mystery & Horror's STRANGELY FUNNY anthology series. I just got the word last week that STRANGELY FUNNY VI will feature my story "Eyewear of the Damned" when it's released this April. The last two volumes have featured some weird, creepy and hilarious comic horror stories, so it's always an honour to be part of this collection. I'll have more details when they're available.

I hope everyone is having a safe and happy holiday season, and that the New Year is wonderful to you all.

Write Story, Place in Drawer (#IWSG June 2018)

I wrote a short story last month. It wasn't very good and it will probably never see the light of day, but it was the first one I've written in a long time (seven or eight months, for sure), so it was nice to finally get back into it.

Life has started to settle back into a routine. There's still plenty of bad stuff happening but we're learning to deal with it.

Oh and hey, in case you missed it, there was not one but TWO anthologies released in May featuring yours truly. I'm sure you've heard ad naseum about Tick Tock: A Stitch in Crime from our very own IWSG, but I'm contractually obligated to mention it in every blog post or conversation I have for the next six months. :-P What you might have missed though is STRANGELY FUNNY V, a new collection of comic supernatural tales from Mystery & Horror. It was released quietly a couple of weeks ago, and while the paperback is still forthcoming you can get the Kindle version from Amazon RIGHT NOW. I haven't read through all of this year's edition yet, but last year's was delightfully bonkers, which prompted even my usually stoic father to ask: "What the f*ck is this?"

It's funny, that's what it is.

Oh, and in case you want to read even more of my weird ramblings, last week I posted an interview on the official Tick Tock: A Stitch in Crime blog. It's the interview that was BANNED from a book review site earlier this year, so if you want to see for yourself what the fuss is about, be sure to check it out.

June 6 IWSG Question

What's harder for you to come up with, book titles or character names?

Book names, without a doubt. I actually mentioned in the interview from last week that I put about as much thought into character names as I do into what socks I should wear. Since I own fifty pairs of identical black socks, that amount of thought it exactly zero. It's how I end up with characters with names like Fistpunch, Thumb and Rat Bastard.

Book titles (and short story titles) on the other hand, provide me with no end of headaches. It took me weeks to come up with "Hell Comes to Hogtown," which in the end is joke that I find funny but probably only six people will get the references it comes from. Originally the title was supposed to be something along the line of "Come Into My Parlour" or "Spake the Spider to the Fly," but there are literally hundreds of other books out there with those titles, so I rightly chose to avoid it. I have a short story I've been shopping around for over a year and I think part of the problem is the name of it is stupid, but I can't think of anything better to call it.

To be fair, it's not THIS bad.

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The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Writers post their thoughts on their blogs, talking about their doubts and the fears they have conquered. It's a chance for writers to commiserate and offer a word of encouragement to each other. Check out the group at http://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/.

STRANGELY FUNNY V NOW AVAILABLE!

Tick Tock: A Stitch in Crime is still chugging along strong, but I was surprised last night to discover that the other anthology featuring one of my stories, STRANGELY FUNNY V, is now available at Amazon!

BUY IT NOW AT AMAZON.COM

I knew the publisher, Mystery & Horror, wanted to get it out before the end of May, but since I only saw the galleys last week I didn't think it was going to happen. But here they giving the people what they want and have clamoured for: More side-splitting stories of horror and weirdness!

The blurb: 

The sixth book in the Strangely Funny series. You have all heard tales of the phantom hitchhiker, but what about her parents? How do they feel after a few decades of boys showing up on their doorstep looking for their jackets? Take this journey with us and find out what club the Devil use for a short putt. Discover where werewolves retire when their muzzles turn gray.

Open the pages of Strangely Funny V and join authors Eldon Litchfield, Dan Foley, Juliet Boyd, and many more, as they explore the strange happenings that could be in your neighborhood.

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My contribution to the anthology is "The New Job," a story about an under-funded and under-staffed city department responsible for the extermination of "exotic supernatural pests." And by pests we of course mean ghosts. Hilarity and gore ensues.

Currently only the Kindle version is up on Amazon but the paperback should follow soon. Keep your eyes peeled!

BUY STRANGELY FUNNY V AT AMAZON.COM

STRANGELY FUNNY V COVER REVEAL!

I said I would have a story appearing in another anthology later this month, but I can't remember if I mentioned the name of it. Well, here I am now to reveal not only the title but also the cover of said anthology, and it's STRANGELY FUNNY V!

Strangely Funny is an annual anthology of comic supernatural and horror short stories published by Mystery and Horror, LLC. I actually had a story appear in last year's edition as well, and those who know my writing know it's a perfect fit - weird, creepy and funny fits my style exactly. 

Anyone who wants to check out last year's Volume 4, including my story, "Save or Die," about a fantasy adventure that goes terribly, terribly awry, can pick it up here.

I don't have a lot of details for Volume 5 except the cover and that it will be released in late May or early June. And it will be full of weird, funny stories! Previous volumes have included contributors such as Kevin J. Wetmore, DJ Tyrer, Edward Ahern and Jonathan Shipley. 

Not only do I have a story in this one, but you can also of course check me out in this one, too.

STRANGELY FUNNY IV Release! (#IWSG July 2017)

IWSG Day! It came at a perfect time, since last week was absolute shit for me personally, but I'll spare you the details of that.

The one bright spot was that I found out STRANGELY FUNNY IV, the anthology featuring my short story, was released on Monday! I've been waiting months for this, and it's finally a reality!

Behold, the appropriately weird cover:

Available from Amazon

Yes, the cover depicts zombies playing basketball with skulls. Possibly their own heads. It's the kind vibe that this humourous supernatural/horror anthology is going for.

The story I contributed is called "Save or Die." It's a comic fantasy in the vein of my "Werebear vs Landopus" stories, but it's way less obscene. It's like a PG-13 Grimdork. If you're into self-aware comic fantasy and roleplaying games like Dungeons & Dragons, you'll probably appreciate my story. I received a proof copy of the book and everything I've read so far is pretty great.

I was absolutely stunned earlier this year when my story was accepted, not only because it was the first real acceptance I've received for one of my submissions, but it was the very first time I submitted that particular story anywhere. To compare, I've had another story (one I personally thought was better) rejected 12 times already this year. I guess with "Save or Die" I just had the right piece for the right market at the right time.

Strangely Funny IV is edited by Sarah E. Glenn and published by Mystery and Horror, LLC. You can check it out here.

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IWSG Question for July:

What is one valuable lesson you've learned since you started writing?

Ideas are worth shit.

Everyone has ideas. Many of them suck, some of them are fabulous, but until you actually make something out of them, they're worthless. A finished story is worth thousands of good ideas.

How many people out there say they have great ideas for books but have just never gotten around to writing it? Or have half-finished manuscripts they've been working on for years? I was there for a long time myself, and I always felt crappy about it.

I didn't feel better until I actually finished my first book and got it out there. Sure, it's not setting the world on fire, but just the act of finishing it and putting it out there into the world is a tremendously satisfying accomplishment. That alone puts me ahead of many people, and it's an achievement I really don't stop to appreciate often enough.

So I'm going to stop and appreciate it today. I need every victory I can get.

Get out there and make your ideas into something real. You'll feel way better once you do.

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The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Writers post their thoughts on their blogs, talking about their doubts and the fears they have conquered. It's a chance for writers to commiserate and offer a word of encouragement to each other. Check out the group at http://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/.