Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Why I'm Afraid of Z...?

What begins with Z?
I do.
I am a Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz
As you can plainly see.
-Dr. Seuss's A-B-C

I couldn't think of a good word for "z." So let's just throw darts and see what we hit...

Zabernism - Misuse of military authority; bullying. Okay, yeah, those things suck. I could be afraid of that.

Zelator - Sister in a convent in charge of checking on conduct of other nuns, and
Zelatrix - Older nun in charge of disciplining younger nuns. Holy shit those are awesome words. These ladies would be terrifying, too, in addition to kinky. I will have pleasant nightmares about these ladies for the next few days.

Zemni - A type of blind mole-rat (also called a Podolsk mole-rat):
Holy fuck that's terrifying.

Zoonosis - Disease of animals which can be transmitted to humans. Swine & Avian flu, anyone?

Zorino - A polite name for skunk fur worn in a garment, because no one wants to wear a skunk coat, no matter how much it costs. However, this begs the question of WHY THE FUCK ANYONE WOULD WANT TO WEAR SKUNK FUR IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?

Zoster - I thought this was an article of clothing (it is, actually) but when I ran a Google image search all I got was pictures of herpes and shingles. Yeah, that was pretty unpleasant, too. Don't click on that link.

Bonus story: In the United States, you pronounce the letter "Z" as "zee." In Canada, it is generally pronounced as "zed." No one explained this to my tiny childhood brain, and somehow I got confused over the difference. For many, many years (more than I would care to admit), I always sang the "A-B-C" song and ended with "W-X-Y-Zed-and-Zee." Maybe it was just because I was singing it too fast and I didn't notice. I don't know how I squeezed the extra syllable in there. It wasn't until I was older and some kids made fun of me when when they heard me mumble it whilst alphabetizing something (as you do) and asked me what the hell I was talking about.

So maybe I have a "Z" horror story after all.

Thanks for sharing my neurosis with me for the past month, ladies and gentlemen. Time to get back to work now.
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