Monday, April 7, 2014

Why I'm Afraid of Fatherhood

Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.
- Bill Cosby

I love being a dad. My son is 2 years old and wonderful. He's in that incredible stage when he's still baby-ish but learning and developing at an alarming rate that amazes me to no end. Every day he learns new words, discovers and notices new things, performs tasks he never did before. Watching him grow is more rewarding and enjoyable than I ever would have thought possible.

So of course I'm scared I'm going to fuck it up.
I'm going to say or do the wrong thing. I'm not going to be supportive enough, or coddle him too much. He's going to be interested in things I don't like or am not good at (with my luck he's going I be a jock). He's not going to like the things that I like and what to share with him. If he doesn't get into Dungeons & Dragons I'm going to cry.

So many things that happen at this age can affect you for life. What if I accidentally teach him the alphabet incorrectly and he mixes up the order of  P and Q for the rest of his life and loses a scholarship to study literature because of it? I could ruin his life because the damn pages of Dr Seuss' A-B-C's got stuck together.

Yeah, being a Dad is awesome but also terrifying. And one of these days he's going to ask about sex, too.

6 comments:

Sean said...

2 is a fun age! Once they hit 7, it's kind of like... ugh.

Nicole Pyles said...

I figure if you worry like this, it's a good sign you are doing awesome. I think the parents who don't worry have something to worry about. :)

Unknown said...

As far as I can tell, it never gets less terrifying - all we can do is try and hope it all works out in the end. I'm sure it will :)

C.D. Gallant-King said...

I've got a few nieces around that age. Some a are sweet, one of them... Not so much. I guess by then their personalities are really developed. Hopefully my guy won't be a dick like his father.

C.D. Gallant-King said...

So worry and anxiety = positive behaviour. Sweet. I've gotta tell my therapist about this breakthrough. ;-)

C.D. Gallant-King said...

As long as he doesn't murder me in my sleep I guess we'll be okay. And if he does I guess it's not my problem anyway, so we win either way.

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