Monday, April 7, 2014

Why I'm Afraid of Fatherhood


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Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.
- Bill Cosby

I love being a dad. My son is 2 years old and wonderful. He's in that incredible stage when he's still baby-ish but learning and developing at an alarming rate that amazes me to no end. Every day he learns new words, discovers and notices new things, performs tasks he never did before. Watching him grow is more rewarding and enjoyable than I ever would have thought possible.

So of course I'm scared I'm going to fuck it up.
I'm going to say or do the wrong thing. I'm not going to be supportive enough, or coddle him too much. He's going to be interested in things I don't like or am not good at (with my luck he's going I be a jock). He's not going to like the things that I like and what to share with him. If he doesn't get into Dungeons & Dragons I'm going to cry.

So many things that happen at this age can affect you for life. What if I accidentally teach him the alphabet incorrectly and he mixes up the order of  P and Q for the rest of his life and loses a scholarship to study literature because of it? I could ruin his life because the damn pages of Dr Seuss' A-B-C's got stuck together.

Yeah, being a Dad is awesome but also terrifying. And one of these days he's going to ask about sex, too.

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