Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Why I'm Afraid of Star Wars 7

...because it may suck.

This one is pretty simple. No matter, when something is hyped enough for long enough, it's inevitably going to be a letdown.  Just like the new Star Wars films that came out in the early 2000s, just like the Undertaker at Wrestlemania this year.  When you build up something so big in your head, hold it aloft on such a high pedestal, OF COURSE it's going to come crashing down at some point.  We remember celebrities like Kurt Cobain, Bruce Lee and James Dean fondly because they never grew old enough to become bloated caricatures of themselves (looking at you, Mel Gibson).  Sometimes its better if our heroes are left in the past where they shine in the favourable light of memory, instead of dragging it out and rebooting it every few years.  Unfortunately, that seems utterly impossible in this day and age.

On many levels, Star Wars 7 cannot be as impressive and great as the original(s).  Star Wars ushered in a new era of moviemaking - it changed the way movies were presented and ushered fantasy and sci-fi into mainstream popular culture.  A new film can't have the same impact unless is redefines cinema again, which would require the studio to make a very different film than most people are expecting (which I would kinda be okay with - I would love to see Star Wars re-imagined as a film noir sci-fi thriller).

I think JJ Abrams will do a good job with it.  And despite their bad rep, Disney knows how to handle huge beloved franchises with care, so I can't think of anyone better to be backing him.  I'm certainly looking forward to seeing Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford in bad 70s haircuts again, even if they get killed in the first act (and in fact, that may be the best case scenario).  But despite all of this, and all of my efforts to keep my expectations low, there may still be some huge disappointment come Christmas 2015 when Episode 7 hits movie screens.

"Great shot kid, that was one in a million."

Indeed it was, Han.  Indeed it was.


  1. OK do they die in the first act?? I would be bummed by that actually but I am also easily reeled in as my friends love to talk about:) I am worried to see Carrie Fisher in her outfit from the 3rd installment and Mark Hamill looks a little scary. I wish they would have left this well enough alone. The first pre-qual was harc to take with that annoying kid and Q-tip and Queen Armadillo (my names for them). Jar jar should be in a jar somewhere although the effects were great and loved the red/black meanie. The music with that fight scene was excellent. I do not have high hopes unless i see an ewok hanging over their mantelpiece

    1. There is very little info available on the next movie (even Fisher, Hamill and Ford's involvement is still a rumour at this point). I would imagine (and hope) that Fisher won't be reprising her golden bikini scene, but she could do well as an elder senator/president in the new government, and though Hamill is looking his age he could certainly play the old mentor/Jedi master. And Ford is always Ford - a grumpy retired captain dragged into "one last mission" would be pretty awesome.

      I'm gonna take a wild guess and say Jar-Jar won't be anywhere near it, though.

  2. Replies
    1. Oh, I do too. And I will certainly be seeing the new movie as soon as possible when it comes out. But honestly my biggest anticipation is for when my son is a few years older and he'll be able to watch them for the first time...

  3. To me, it's like... the prequels already lowered the bar in a major way. I am pretty positive this movie will be better than those, and therefore I am excited.

  4. I wasn't too let down by the Undertaker losing this year. But I didn't get to see the show, so maybe my opinion would be different.

    I think Star Wars 7 will be one of those deals where people will either hate it because it's not the original series or hate it because it's too much like the original series. It's doomed either way, but will make money despite itself. I'm interested to see what they come up with.

    1. Oh it will make money, no question about that. But you're right, like everything these days, most people will find reason to hate for one reason or another. I know it can't be as pivotal to my life as the original films were, but if it can be an enjoyable 2 hours that doesn't make me cringe or roll my eyes too much, then I will be content.

      As for UT, I'm kinda ambivalent to the whole thing. I didn't watch it live, and despite my best efforts wasn't able to avoid spoilers so I wasn't hit with the shock as many people were. The disappointment came later, when I realized that despite how big of a moment it was and the buzz it generated, it didn't really make a big difference one way or the other. It's done and life and wrestling moves on. Neither Brock or Undertake will be around enough to make that much of an impact out of the event.


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