Saturday, April 5, 2014

Why I'm Afraid of Eels

Click here for the nutritional facts on cooked eel.  They're a pretty good source of protein, but very, very high in fat and cholesterol. And of course they're horrifying.

Eels are mythical, un-killable creatures from the black abyss. I know this as true and absolute fact, and for that I fear them. If ever they should develop intelligence and rise up against us, we are doomed to be their landlocked slaves. Or dinner.


When I was a boy I saw a group of other boys beat the ever loving shit out of an eel that one of them caught in a lake. They stabbed it, stomped on it, beat it with rocks. I can't defend their actions, boys are stupid and I'm guilty by association. But I'm not on trial here (at least I hope not). The point is that after that brutal assault and being left in a bucket on the dock overnight, the next morning they dumped the eel back into the lake and it swam away.

Tell me that's not unnatural. Tell me that eels are not the demonic seed of Satan himself.

And please, for the love of God, tell me that eel isn't coming back for me someday for standing by while it was tortured. Because it can. IT CAN.

10 comments:

Kathe W. said...

having eaten eels while visiting friends in the Netherlands I must say they are scary, but quite tasty.

C.D. Gallant-King said...

I've heard that from other people, too, but I still don't know if I could eat them. It would be like eating a demon worm dug up from Satan's filth-encrusted garden of evil.

Unknown said...

Not sure if I could eat an eel unless desperate. It's nice to follow and connect http://aimingforapublishingdeal.blogspot.co.uk/

Unknown said...

How do I follow your blog?
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It Is Interesting To Note said...

I'm pretty sure I would rather stab something in my eye than eat an eel! :-) They are a little creepy.

Melanie Atherton Allen said...

Eels are indeed horrid and scary! And I like you A To Z premise: fear is always a good topic!
hooray for (HU) bloggers!
Melanie Atherton Allen
http://www.athertonsmagicvapour.com/category/blogging-a-to-z/

C.D. Gallant-King said...

I CAN eat anything (my wife can't understand some of the disgusting things I eat). I CHOOSE not to eat eels because I'm afraid they'll reanimate in my stomach and devour me from the inside out.

C.D. Gallant-King said...

Hmmm... Yeah the Google+ updates change how following works. You can follow me as an individual, but I'm not sure how you follow the page (unless I set up a seperate page on Google+ for the blog?)

C.D. Gallant-King said...

They are a lot creepy. And they would be all too happy to stab your eye for you.

Thanks for reading!

C.D. Gallant-King said...

Fear is a terrible topic. Do you enjoy listening to other people's tales of psychological scarring?

You, my friend, are a sadist.

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