Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Why I'm Afraid of Nudity, Public
-Arrested Development Wiki
I briefly mentioned this in an earlier post, at the time thinking it was a joke, but I have since thought about it and I realized I went through a phase where this was absolutely the case.
I was never into organized sports, so I never experienced the joy of communal locker room naked Riverdancing (That's what goes on in there, right?). Ditto for actually showering after gym glass, and I wasn't the only one - our school had to specifically ban gym shorts and track pants from class because no one showered and everyone smelled all the time.
I hated, hated taking my clothes off in front of people as a kid. Being an awkward, chubby kid covered in acne didn't help. I wore t-shirts swimming at the beach, and avoided public pools like a nudist plague because there was no way I was stripping down in the change room.
I was never as bad as Tobias, and I think I've mostly gotten over it (losing 30 pounds and getting past the acne helps tremendously). I don't have many opportunities to strut around with my junk out, though, so I can't be 100% positive. My employer certainly doesn't approve of Freebird Fridays, and don't get me started on the looks you get from parents at the playground.
If anyone has any suggests from prime streaking locales in our modern age, drop me a line.
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Interesting that appearing naked in public is a common dream theme ...but aside from that, I also am not for the hello happy jolly sticks number...it's just a natural reserve I guess. On the rugby or cricket grounds here in South Africa it's been known for streakers to run on to the pitch while the game is in progress .. the umpires and refs get mad and the cops come along and haul them off while the audience in stadium has a good laugh.ReplyDelete
Garden of Eden Blog
Streaking at sporting events is a popular past time the world over. They have tried to curb it in North America (they never show or acknowledge the streakers on television to encourage the attention), but it still seems to happen from time to time. They may be idiots but hey, at least they're comfortable in their bodies. :-)Delete
Ahh, Arrested Development, such a great show. I've never been a fan of public nudity myself, at least, I'm not going to be the one to be nude in public. I guess that's a better way of putting it. Either way, we never showered after gym class and even when we did rinse off after swimming in the (disgusting) pool, none of us undressed in front of one another. There were bathroom stalls we took turns using and even in regards to sports, there were never shower rooms anywhere to be found after a game. We went home and took our showers (after getting celebratory ice cream, of course). Anyway, now that I've turned this comment into a ramble, I think it's safe to say that I will probably never be nude in public...at least not intentionally.ReplyDelete
Television and movies have me believe that people get naked in gyms and showers all the time, but perhaps it not's quite as common as I've been led to believe.Delete
Unintentional public nudity... now that's just good comedy. :-) My favourite episode of the Simpsons of all time is the one where Homer and Marge lose their close and then run nude all over town trying to get home.
Reverend: Now, let us thank the Lord for this magnificent crystal cathedral which allows us to look out upon his wondrous creation. (Homer's naked ass squeaks against the glass as it's slowly dragged up the window)
Reverend: Now gaze upon the Lord's wonderful carpet! Keep looking down, ladies and gentlemen, keep looking down...
(Something like that, I may be paraphrasing...)
Oh I remember that episode of the Simpsons and it was truly funny. What I find more scary is seeing very fat, Older German men wearing tight little red speedos-ughhh that is horrifying or men wearing thongs-sorry had to swallow my lunch thereReplyDelete
Ugh... yeah, that's the problem with beaches (nude or otherwise). It's not just you and the attractive people hanging out - you don't have any control over who shows up. ;-)Delete
Oh, too funny. I prefer not to be naked in public however, other people's nudity doesn't frighten me. I've been conditioned over time. Just recently, I had an encounter with a nude man sunning his willy at a clothing optional natural spring in the mountains. There's a story.ReplyDelete
And a fine story it is. BDelete
But like you said, it was a designated area. The problem arises when people are sunning their willies on the subway car...
Go put the finishing touches on your book.ReplyDelete