I'm not British Enough (#IWSG March 2023)

Hey, I actually worked on Gale Harbour book 3 this month! I think I wrote two new chapters and touched up several old ones. That's more than I've done in six months, so I'm pretty stoked about that. I'll get back into the groove eventually.

Also, I may be crazy, but I'm considering doing the April A-to-Z blogging challenge. Is that still a thing?

Since today's IWSG question is an excuse to post quotes from some of my favourite books, let's just right to that!

March Question - Have you ever read a line in novel or a clever plot twist that caused you to have author envy?

I've said this before, but in case you missed it: I'm not smart enough to write like Kurt Vonnegut, and I'm not British enough to write like Terry Pratchett. Virtually everything they've ever written gives me author's envy.

Here's a few of my favourite quotes from a couple of my favourite books:

Terry Pratchett, "THE HOGFATHER," regarding children believing in Santa Claus:

“YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES."

"So we can believe the big ones?"

"YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.”

Also from THE HOGFATHER:

'You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!'

"IT'S A SWORD," said the Hogfather. "THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE."

'She's a child!' shouted Crumley.

"IT'S EDUCATIONAL."

'What if she cuts herself?'

"THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.”

And one more for fun:

"Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time."

Kurt Vonnegut, MOTHER NIGHT:

“I had hoped, as a broadcaster, to be merely ludicrous, but this is a hard world to be ludicrous in, with so many human beings so reluctant to laugh, so incapable of thought, so eager to believe and snarl and hate. So many people wanted to believe me!

Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile.”

(Mother Night was originally released in 1961. In our world today these words are more true and appropriate than ever)

Also from MOTHER NIGHT:

“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”

And just as an added bonus, here are a few from Douglas Adams, my other favourite author. 

The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“The story so far:

In the beginning the Universe was created.

This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”

Life, the Universe and Everything

“The Guide says there is an art to flying", said Ford, "or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.”

That's all folks!

Hugs & Kisses,
-CDGK

The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Writers post their thoughts on their blogs, talking about their doubts and the fears they have conquered. It's a chance for writers to commiserate and offer a word of encouragement to each other. Check out the group at http://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/.

Holy Crap, I'm Feeling Good Two Months in a Row (#IWSG September 2018)

"It blends comedy and blackness in a way that hits all the right notes for me. I would go as far as to say it may appeal to Pratchett or Vonnegut fans."

-Lukasz Przywoski, Fantasy Book Critic

In case you couldn't guess, that quote from a glowing review of HELL COMES TO HOGTOWN made my year. I don't think it's warranted, but even a tangential comparison to Terry Pratchett or Kurt Vonnegut (!!!) is about the highest praise I can imagine.

Kurt looks almost as shocked as I was.

August was a great month for me, writing-wise.

For those who missed it a few weeks ago, my book HELL COMES TO HOGTOWN was selected by Fantasy Book Critic as a semi-finalist for Mark Lawrence's 2018 Self-Published Fantasy Blog-Off. Basically that means it has made it to the top 50 or so of the 300 books entered. That quote at the top came from their official review of the book.. It still has a long way to go to make it to the top 10 (literally, it will probably be 6 months before the finalists are decided), but I am beyond thrilled it even made it this far.

As a side-effect to the success in SPFBO, the first week of August was the best sales week I've had in years. I sold more copies of Hogtown in August than I had in the two years since it was released, not to mention a few other sales and several hundred free downloads of TENTACLES UNDER A FULL MOON. Not only that, but people were buying it all over the world - I usually get sales in Canada and the US, maybe an occasional one in the UK, but thanks to SPFBO I've had sales/downloads in Germany, Mexico, Australia, Sweden and India. Needless to say that was a great accomplishment, at least for me.

I'm now an international best-selling author!

In additional to Fantasy Book Critic, I also received 10 new reviews/ratings on Goodreads, which is more than I usually get in a year. Most of them were quite positive; even the worse one is pretty good:

"Fun, urban fantasy that'll keep you turning pages. Its not fantastic literature, but it's entertaining and you won't be disappointed with it."

-Goodreads review

I mean, he's not wrong.

On top of all that, I wrote and submitted another story (with an hour to spare before the deadline!) and have another one ready to go for a submission later this month. I've also started a new writing game with my friends online - I'll probably write a more detailed post about that later. It's probably not something that will generate content I can share publicly, but it does force me to write regularly (and quickly - I wrote over 3000 words last week), and it tends to spawn a lot of ideas that I can use elsewhere down the line.

If I had one thing to be insecure about this month, it's that there is no way in hell I'll be able to keep this positive energy and momentum going... :-/

One moment you're flying like a bird, the next you're landing on your face.

September 5 IWSG Question 

What publishing path are you considering/did you take, and why?

I've talked about this a lot before so I won't go in huge detail, but the short version is that I started self-publishing because I was impatient. I wanted to see my books on Amazon and in print RIGHT NOW.

In hindsight that's probably not the best reason to self-publish, but in the last couple of years I've grown to appreciate it on a number of levels, the main one being is that the stuff I write is not usually palpable to traditional publishers. (Seriously, have you read Tentacles Under a Full Moon?) With self-publishing I can write what I want, when I want. I don't have anything against traditional publishing, and I still submit to them regularly, but I suspect the majority of my work is going to continuing being self-published for the foreseeable future.

#

The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Writers post their thoughts on their blogs, talking about their doubts and the fears they have conquered. It's a chance for writers to commiserate and offer a word of encouragement to each other. Check out the group at http://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/.

I Just Discovered I Love Audiobooks

For the longest time I was hesitant to listen to audiobooks. I found nothing inherently wrong with them, they just didn't seem to be for me. For some reason my mind wandered whenever I listened, and unlike when reading and you miss something, with audiobooks it's especially hard to go back and re-read/listen to parts you missed. It just didn't seem worth the effort.

Those opinions were formed before I got a job with a ridiculously long commute, as well as a lot of data entry where my ears are free to do to other things. For the last few years I've been listening to a ton of podcasts, but lately I've been finding myself bored with that too. Along with the guilt that I don't do nearly as much reading as I should, I decided to give audiobooks another whirl, and I'm so glad I did. In just two weeks I've discovered a LOVE for audiobooks I never imagined, and I suddenly feel so much more productive now, being able to chip away at my TBR pile while simultaneously getting other tasks done. It's amazing.

In those two weeks I've "read" three books I've meant to get to for awhile, and I've discovered that audiobooks improve books in (at least) three awesome ways.

1. It makes bad books bearable.

The first book I checked out was Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. Now, this book was hugely popular a few years ago and is about to become a major Steven Spielberg movie, but in all honesty I didn't think it was very good. The 80s video-game nostalgia seemed perfectly tailored for me, but the flat characters, dumb stakes and over-reliance on said nostalgia were just grating. Not to mention it was riddled with plot inconsistencies that I would have been crucified for had I written them.

If had I been actually reading it I doubt I would have made it through. But the story was saved by the charming and likable narration by Wil Wheaton. While the weakest of the three narrators I listened to, Wheaton still has an engaging voice and a spirited narration, so it was nice to listen to him drone on in my ears for a few days.

2. It lets you see an old book in a new light.

Book number two was Slaughterhouse Five. I had read it many years ago, but despite it's place as a classic it was among my least favourite of Vonnegut's books. I don't know if it was because I read it in a rush of other Vonnegut books so it didn't particularly stand out for some reason, or maybe I just didn't get it. But that changed after I listened to Ethan Hawke's rendition.

Now, I don't know if Hawke is actually the best choice for Slaughterhouse Five (there's another version read by James Franco that I think might work even better). He's a bit too smooth and suave, but boy does he bring it to life. He instills it with so much pathos and realness, it really hits you in the gut and plays up the darkness while still maintaining that mischievous satire that I love. I have really reconsidered my opinion on Slaughterhouse Five thanks to the audiobook, jumping it way up there in my Vonnegut canon.

3. It can make a good book absolutely exceptional.

The third book was The Serpent of Venice by Christopher Moore. I'm pretty open that Moore is a heavy influence of mine (which I think is probably most obvious in Hell Comes to Hogtown), so I generally enjoy his books anyway. But Euan Morton's reading of Serpent of Venice is astounding. It's the first time I've understood what it means when it says a narrator "performs" a book.

For those who don't know him, Morton is a stage actor and singer who played Boy George in Taboo in both London and on Broadway, currently performs as King George in Hamilton on Broadway, and has credits in countless other shows on both sides of the Atlantic (random side fact: his son plays the lead in the TV show Young Sheldon). Morton brings his considerable skills to Serpent of Venice, turning it into basically a 10-hour-long one-man show where he performs all the characters beautifully with different voices, and captures Moore's humour with perfect British wit. He's like a one-man Monty Python, it's amazing.

I also just discovered that Morton also did the narration for two other Christopher Moore books, Fool and Sacre Bleu, so I am pumped to check those out.

Long story short, I'm really digging audiobooks and I can't believe it took me this long to jump on board. Since I wrote this up last week I've also listened to a Dave Barry book and I'm half-way through a PG Wodehouse collection (For reference, the Dave Barry book wasn't very good but it still had a few laughs in it). I haven't been this prolific in my "reading" in years. I think I've listened to more books in the last month than I read in the entire year prior. I'm looking forward to making a nice dent in my TBR pile in 2018.

Let's do this.

"You Promised Me The Ending Would Be Clear," or, "Thank you, Mister Bowie"

I'm not a big celebrity chaser or an idol worshiper. I don't build up an aura or mystique around famous artists and entertainers the way some do, but I do respect and admire those creators whose work inspire me. Because I'm not so invested, I guess I'm generally not as devastated when we lose figures from our cult of personality (though I do appreciate many of my friends were pretty broken up about Lemmy a few weeks ago). However, sometimes, just sometimes, a celebrity death really kicks me in the gut.

The first time I was really bummed about such a death was Kurt Vonnegut. I was HUGELY into his books at the time and while he was getting up in years and wasn't writing much anymore, the definitive realization that there would be no more books really stung. Plus he was such an interesting and fascinating fellow.

The most recent before today was Terry Pratchett, which was hard because I loved Pratchett's work at least as much if not more than Vonnegut. His was also massively influential to my own writing. It didn't hurt as hard as it could have because we knew he had been sick for a long time and that the end was coming. Plus I heard the news of his passing while my wife was in labour, so I really didn't have time to dwell on it.

Then came today.

A little background info first. In 1995 I was listening to mostly stuff I picked up going through my dad's old vinyl. Deep Purple, Queen, Three Dog Night, Jesus Christ Superstar for some reason. The newest album I owned was a cassette of Micheal Jackson's "Thriller."

My friends were mostly still into 80s hair metal and early-90s thrash metal, refusing to modernize to what the "cool kids" were listening to (Nirvana and Pearl Jam). I was far from the cool kids, and while I liked some of the metal, my friends were going farther and farther into dark growly stuff that just didn't do it for me.

I did have one friend who was into pretty much everything though, and he would constantly tape music videos off MuchMusic (the Canadian version of MTV). One day he introduced me to David Bowie's new song "Heart's Filthy Lesson." We only picked up on it at first because we misheard the line "I am already" as "I am a Reggie" which we thought was HILARIOUS. We watched/listened to the song over and over cracking ourselves up, until I eventually realized "Wait a minute, I really like that song."

I actually went out and bought the CD that the song appeared on, "Outside," which was one of the first CDs I ever bought, and probably the first album of new music (previous CDs were Queen and Deep Purple Greatest Hits records).

It came in a cardboard sleeve instead of a jewel case.
Bowie was so avant-garde.

"Outside" may not be remembered as one of Bowie's best or most famous albums, but 15-year old me LOVED IT (35 year-old me does, too). It was another of his concept albums, set in "futuristic" 1999 where Bowie played "Detective Academic" Nathan Adler, a PI investigating the murder case of a 15-year old prostitute. Technically, the full description was "The Ritual Art-Murder of Baby Grace Blue: A Non-Linear Gothic Drama Hyper-Cycle," and the liner notes had some twisted and messed up artwork to accompany the weird and haunting story of Nathan's case.

More important than the off-the-wall concept was the music. "Hallo Spaceboy," "Heart's Filthy Lesson," "I Have Not Been to Oxford Town" and "Strangers When We Met" are still some of my favourite songs, period. The rest of the songs, between the weird dramatic segues, are also great. For those who aren't familiar, "Outside" came out during Bowie's period when he was hanging out with peak-form Trent Reznor, and Reznor's industrial influence was massively apparent on the record.

This new style of music blew my mind. I had heard of Reznor before but had never really given him a chance (my friends weren't into it - such is the power of peer pressure). Filtered through Bowie, however, I was immediately hooked. This led me to Nine Inch Nails, as well as Marilyn Manson, Tool, Linkin Park and Korn. He also led me back to the guys who influenced Reznor, like Joy Division/New Order, Skinny Puppy, Ministry, Depeche Mode and, of course, Bowie himself. For those who know me, THOSE are the bands who defined and shaped my teens and early adult years. Hell, in  the case of Reznor and Maynard James Keenan of Tool, some of those guys are STILL making music I love.

Marilyn Manson still makes music, too.

It's the music that helped make me who I am. It's the music I listened to when I was an angry young man. It's the music I listen to as a perturbed suburban dad. It's the music I listen to when I write. It influenced me just as much as Vonnegut or Pratchett. And it can all be traced back to Bowie.

(Then there's Labyrinth, which was a very special movie to my wife and I during our early courtship. Bowie's finger prints are all over my life.)

So yeah, David Bowie had a massive influence on me, and the shocking news of his death this morning really hit me hard. I had literally just downloaded his new album "Blackstar" just twenty minutes before I heard. It's heart-wrenching. This may be the last new Bowie music we ever hear. I say "may be" because if there's other material out there somewhere it will eventually see the light of day. We all remember how Johnny Cash's exceptional final album "American IV" was followed with several posthumous releases of diminishing quality.

In the case of Bowie, I kinda hope there isn't any more. If there was additional music out there that Bowie wanted us to hear, he would have put it on "Blackstar," or his previous record "The Next Day" (which was really, really good, by the way).

Though if I had to pick just one, 1997's Earthling is probably my top Bowie album.

Back in 2003 when he released "Reality," he thought that may have been his final album, and the last track "Bring Me the Disco King" would have been a perfect coda to his career. That was not an accident. I'm sure he knew (or very strongly suspected) that "Blackstar" was going to be his last, so whatever note he wanted to end on, hopefully he chose it. Judging by "I Can't Give Everything Away," the last song on "Blackstar," I think he ended it exactly the way he intended to.

Thank you, David Robert Jones, for giving us everything you did.

I know something is very wrong

The pulse returns for prodigal sons

The blackout's hearts with flowered news

With skull designs upon my shoes

I can't give everything

I can't give everything

Away

I can't give everything

Away

Seeing more and feeling less

Saying no but meaning yes

This is all I ever meant

That's the message that I sent

I can't give everything

I can't give everything

Away

I can't give everything

Away

I can't give everything

I can't give everything

Away

I can't give everything

Away

- David Bowie, "I Can't Give Everything Away"