Surfing with the Butt Monkeys (#IWSG April 2022)

Happy IWSG Day? What's happening!?!

• Revenge of the Space-Surfing Butt Monkeys (Gale Harbour Book 2) comes out in less than a month! I've been working my butt off, contacting people for reviews, arranging promos and guest blogs, running ads and putting some finishing touches on some formatting for the books and covers. 

• Speaking of guest posts, thank you to everyone who signed up to help with the launch! Material will be coming out very soon. If anyone else is interesting in helping to promote the launch of Butt Monkeys, please sign up below.

• Psycho Hose Beast From Outer Space (Gale Harbour Book 1) was one of the March picks for the IWSG book club on Goodreads. If you haven't already, you should join the group and jump into the discussion.

• Psycho Hose Beast is now officially my best-reviewed book, and it's only a few copies away from surpassing Hell Comes to Hogtown as my best-selling book. Despite Hogtown doing well in the Self-Published Fantasy Blog Off, it seems that writing a series (and doing a shit-ton of marketing legwork) really does pay off.

• I ran a promotion for Psycho Hose Beast with HelloBooks.com last weekend. It cost $30USD to promote it to their supposedly-large reader base, and I sold exactly 3 copies. The investment did not, as they say, pay off. I think it just didn't fit well into their readership. For one thing, it got put into the Young Adult category (which alot of people have been doing actually), even though I really never intended it to be YA. I'm sure some of the themes and characters speak to that audience, but some of the actual content is probably a bit mature for those who prefer books for younger sensibilities. 

• I've received a number of reviews in the past few weeks, but one of them I really had to share. It's an amazingly in-depth analysis of Psycho Hose Beast. Honestly I think the guy put more thought into the book than I did. Here's a snippet:

Gallant-King’s Gale Harbour is beautifully constructed. Somewhat isolated, near the water, with underground tunnel systems, and an old Air Force Base, it begs for paranormal happenings. And the cops and Fish and Wildlife folks are just small town enough to be sharp but not too sharp—so they take a journey all their own. The Royal Canadian Mounted Police—aka the Pros—are there, but in the background. 

Further bringing the town, the characters, and the decade to life are abundant references to video games, movies, TV shows, music, commercials, and other early nineties staples. A highlight is Skidmark’s rapping Snow’s “Informer.” It’s probably an ear worm for you now. You’re welcome. 

Don’t let the title fool you into thinking this is fluff. All throughout the book, the themes of age, memory, and history are woven through on multiple levels, from one end of the character continuum to the other. Niall’s grandmother—suffering from dementia—is put into a nursing home early on. The town itself has bad memories of the storm of ’29, and everyone has something with which they struggle; something to overcome. From the kid who lives in a fantasy world of video store rentals his parents would flip out about if they knew that he was watching, to the adults who have something in their past they are trying to make right or make their peace with.

You can read the whole review on Goodreads or the reviewer's website, Newmystics.com.

Wanna buy it? Click right here!

So this is all pretty exciting stuff, right? I should be super happy, right? Then why am I not enjoying this?

It's not that I'm particularly worried or anxious about the book launch, I'm just tried and burnt out. I don't know what I was thinking, setting a book launch right in the middle of the busiest time of year at my regular job. I sign in at 7:00 in the morning and I'm often still working at 11:00 at night. On top of that my wife has been sick, my kids are having problems at school, the dog is developing dementia and losing the use of her legs (she's very old). It's just so much going on at the same time. There's no time for anything and nothing is fun right now. 

I'm trying to look forward to nicer weather and quieter times in the near future. It's got to happen, eventually right? 

The question for the month is something about audiobooks, which is just making me depressed because I would love to do an audiobook, but there is definitely no time for that on the schedule. 

Anyway, how was your month?

Hugs & Kisses,

-CDGK

Title of Publication: Revenge of the Space-Surfing Butt Monkeys (Gale Harbour Book 2)
Date of Publication: May 3, 2022
Available: Kindle, ePub, Paperback
No. of Pages: 321
Genre: Sci-fi/Horror/Comedy
Novel Summary/Blurb:

Newfoundland, Canada, 1993.

It's been a year since a handful of kids defeated the Psycho Hose Beast in the sleepy town of Gale Harbour, Newfoundland. Our heroes have entered into the era of rollerblades, Super Nintendo and oversized plaid shirts… unless you’re a goth, then it’s the era of Maybelline eyeliner, boots with too many buckles, and infected safety-pin piercings.

Thirteen-year-old Niall O'Neil is navigating a blossoming relationship with his crush, Harper Jeddore. Unfortunately, the power that allowed them to defeat the monster from the deep is still within them, and they are no closer to understanding or controlling it. When just touching your girlfriend can kill innocent bystanders, it complicates the already precarious practice of teenage dating.

But lurking in the backdrop of teenage romance, a sinister power is growing in Gale Harbour, and dangerous people are turning up in the small town with possibly deadly intentions.

Will the kids defeat this new threat? What did the US Air Force leave in the abandoned Hansen Air Force base? What is a space-surfing butt monkey? And most importantly—will anyone get to touch a boob?

PRE-ORDER IT NOW FOR JUST 99 CENTS!

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The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Writers post their thoughts on their blogs, talking about their doubts and the fears they have conquered. It's a chance for writers to commiserate and offer a word of encouragement to each other. Check out the group at http://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/

IWSG July: Plugging Away

Another month, another update. How are we doing?

I think I've returned to the "insecure" part of the group's title.

Sales of my first book Ten Thousand Days tanked after the first month. I ran out of friends, family members and acquaintances to convince to buy it, and after a half-dozen guest blogs and interviews, my marketing campaign kind of fizzled out as I didn't have the time to keep on the hustle every day. I would rather spend what available time I do have working on the next book.

I haven't completely given up on Days, though. I'm in the middle of a promotion right now for Canada Day (and the Fourth of July): To help stock up on your summer reading, Ten Thousand Days is on sale for just $0.99. It's actually less than 99 cents on Amazon.com - the Canadian prince is $0.99 so they adjusted it accordingly. I actually even put a few bucks in Facebook marketing to see if it helps get the word out there. So far the ad hasn't generated any sales, but it has reached thousands of new eyes that wouldn't have seen it previously. I will give a full breakdown and detail on how the promotion went after it's done, for those who are interested.

Here's the link to the ad, by the way. Like my Facebook page while you're over there. ;-)

The real insecurity (discouragement?) this month has been my new book, my WIP that I have been dutifully plugging away at these last few months. I've set certain targets and goals for myself of when I wanted to have each step of writing completed, but at the rate I'm going there's no way I'm going to hit any of my deadlines.

I mentioned before that I wrote the first draft entirely long hand whilst riding on the bus. Now I'm trying to type up and revise that draft, also on the bus, and it's not going well for a number of reasons:

1. I'm writing on a fucking bus.

2. For various perfectly reasonable reasons beyond my control, I haven't been taking the bus every day. Usually that's a good thing, but when my commute is my only writing time, not commuting = not writing.

3. It's a different kind of story that I'm not used to writing, so I'm having trouble keeping everything together. As I revise and change/add things, it's messing up other things and the whole manuscript just feels wonky and sloppy right now. When I do finish this draft it's going to take a major, major revision to put everything back in order, whereas I was hoping that this second draft was going to at least be at a point that I could hand it to a few people to get their feedback.

If I handed you a copy of my manuscript right now, it would basically read like this.

I had set myself a deadline of today to have finished this draft (or at least been within spitting distance) and I'm only about 2/3 of the way through (not including the inevitable 3rd draft to fix all the issues I created by revising the 2nd draft). Today is also the start of my vacation, so while I will enjoy my week off to spend with my family, I won't get any writing done.

So yeah, it's disappointing that I'm not where I wanted to be with my current manuscript, and that it's also not coming out quite the way I wanted it to. I'm not quite at the "am I wasting my time?" point yet, but I fear that day may be coming. I've never had this much trouble putting a book together before. I don't know if that means it will ultimately be a more satisfying experience, or I will eventually give up and just throw the whole thing in the trash. We'll see how it goes.

I'll let you know again how it's going in a month. Maybe I'll have a writing surge sometime in July and come back rejuvenated and excited.

I'm keeping my expectations low, though, just in case.

-CDGK

GUEST POST: Enchanted Book Promotions Presents REFLECTED by Majanka Verstraete

About the Book

Title: Reflected (Mirrorland #2)

Author: Majanka Verstraete

Genre: Young Adult, Paranormal Mystery, Romance, Dark Fantasy

When Alison was stuck in Mirrorland, all she wanted was to be alive again. Now she’s gotten her revenge by inhabiting Piper's body and trapping her behind the mirror. But pretending to be Piper is more difficult than she imagined it would be.

On top of that, the borders between Mirrorland and the real world are crumbling. Danger abounds, demons appear in high school, and if wasn’t for the help of a new mysterious guy, Alison might not have escaped. But there’s more to this guy than meets the eye, and she’s determined to find out what, especially since it might be related to her own supernatural problems. Meanwhile, Piper tries to convince the Horseman of Death to help her return to her own world, but he's got his own hidden agenda, which may cause more serious risks. Can Piper find a way to restore the balance before both worlds collide?

Author Bio

Majanka Verstraete begged her Mom to teach her how to read while she was still in kindergarten. By the time she finished fifth grade, she had read through the entire children’s section of her hometown library.

She wrote her first story when she was seven years old, and hasn’t stopped writing since. With an imagination that never sleeps, and hundreds of possible book characters screaming for her attention, writing is more than a passion for her.

She writes about all things supernatural for children of all ages. She’s tried to write contemporary novels before, but something paranormal always manages to crawl in.

Majanka is currently studying for her Master of Laws degree, and hopes one day to be able to combine her passions for law and writing. When she’s not writing, reading or studying, she likes watching “The Vampire Diaries” and “Game of Thrones,” spending time with her friends, or playing “World of Warcraft.”

Links

Twitter- https://twitter.com/iheartreads

Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/pages/Majanka-Verstraete/398570476832115

Website- http://majankaverstraete.com/

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25162121-reflected

Buy the Book

Amazon (Kindle): http://amzn.to/1FztBEY

Amazon (Paperback): http://amzn.to/1cWscOI

B&N (Nook): http://bit.ly/1FQv4tT

B&N (Paperback): http://bit.ly/1SyN1R0

Giveaway

Win a $15 Amazon gift card during the release!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Pay it Forward: Just Buy Something

If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook you'll know I've been hawking my book like an old-timey carnival game barker. Kinda makes me wish I had some kind of carny scam to trick people into buying it (BUY THIS BOOK: IT CURES BALDNESS!)

Of course, if you spend more than 30 seconds on Twitter, you will run into someone trying to sell you something. It's like a Moroccan marketplace, but instead of carpets and chickens, you have skeevy corporations selling insurance and terrible app companies using Kate Upton's boobs to sell terrible mobile games. But a very large portion of the wall of social media marketing is every day folks like you and me just trying to sell their shit.

Seriously Machine Zone, you're making boobs annoying. Stop it.

In this day and age, it is very, very easy for anyone to put content out there. Whatever your desired oeuvre - writing, visual art, music, games, film, design, performance, professional wrestling, explicit sex puppetry - there are channels out there to get your work out quickly and usually cheaply. We are living in a utopia of do-it-yourself artists where everyone can create and no one is getting paid.

And there's the rub. Because there's SO much content out there, it's impossible for everything to get an audience and be read/watched/consumed by more than 3 people. In such an open, cutthroat market you would think the best would rise to the top - but really it's more of a case of who's the most willing to put the work in to market the hell out of their content to get it in front of as many eyes as possible. They will put their time, energy, blood, tears and usually money to become a marketing machine to sell themselves. That's how this business works.

I'm not here to tell you how to market your book/game/end table. There are literally millions of websites out there eager to instruct you on the dark seedy side of Internet publicity. I'm here today to tell you let someone's marketing work on you. 

Told ya.

I know, it's hard. We as a culture have gotten very good at ignoring Facebook ads and clicking "Skip" on Youtube as fast as humanly possible. But what if that poor sap who's made that ad is like you? Just a regular Joe or Joe-sephine(?) sitting at home juggling a day job and kids and trying to make it in the heartless world of music/film/Ren-Faire jewelry? Whenever you click publish on your material you hope other people give you a chance. Do you in turn give that chance to others?

Maybe it's just the circles I travel in, but it struck me the other day how I've been surrounded by independent artists of all kinds my entire adult life, all of them trying unbelievably hard to make it in their chosen fields.

I've seen actors stripped naked yelling at audiences, baring their souls in tiny theatres with only three people in the audience.

I've seen 3-part, 500-page-per book series that obviously took years of work sit on Amazon with a sales rank of #500,000 with no reviews.

I've seen professional wrestlers throwing themselves face-first on concrete floors trying to make a highlight reel to show someone who might hire them for more than $20 a night.

WARNING: NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH

Do not watch this video if you are easily disturbed by independent wrestlers nearly breaking their necks to entertain 100 people for 25 bucks. Good news is that he made a full recovery and continued doing equally stupid shit in the ring.

I've seen role-playing game books and supplements with beautiful art, excellent layout and hundreds of pages of content sitting idle on DriveThruRPG with comments like "That's kinda expensive for a PDF..."

I've seen bands travel hundreds of miles, play shows in dirty bars that don't even pay enough for their gas, then give away CD's they couldn't afford to make, just to get their name out there.

Do you support any of those people? Pick up a book, back a Kickstarter, buy a ticket? I know I don't always support as much as I should. But after three weeks of watching practically non-existent sales reports on my own self-published book, I realized that the authors of those books I laughed at or brushed off are probably feeling the same way.

I admit, this is one of the books I laughed at.

I bought a $5 friggin' drink from Starbucks last week. I could probably have bought a couple of ebooks for that price. Even if I only read the first chapter of each and they were both terrible, that still would have provided me more entertainment (and fodder for stories and blog posts) than a cup of ice and coffee I drank in 20 minutes then promptly forgot.

And you know what? I probably would have made that writer's day. It certainly would have  had more of an effect on him or her than to the board of director's of Starbucks.

So yeah, I just picked up an RPG book by a friend of a friend as well as threw a few bucks at a Kickstarter run by another acquaintance. It means I won't be buying a venti Frappucino on Friday, but that's okay. My local barrista's a bit of a jerk anyway.

Wait, what if he's a self-published writer, too?

Shit...